Foster-Adoption? Think Again...

I was told by TWO different social workers at DSHS, both in the foster parenting 0ffice/department that there are, and I QUOTE,

"no children available for adoption"

No, I'm not kidding.

According to both women, whose numbers I got from the Foster-Adoption page of the DSHS website, there are no children (other than teenagers) available at all in the entire state of Washington. Not even special needs. They said that "Foster care isn't for adopting. The purpose of foster care is reunification with natural parents."
"Yes," I very sweetly responded, "and I completely agree. But some children, for whatever reasons, aren't reunited, and parental rights are terminated and they become eligible for adoption, right?"
Their response? It was long, political, condescending, and full of misinformation and blatant lies.
I'll spare you all the details (because frankly, I was too flabbergasted to remember them all), but both women (whom I spoke to separately) turned me away and told me to call a private agency for designated infant or international adoption.

I couldn't believe what they were telling me. Had the millions of "waiting children" in our country fled the State of Washington, or was I just being flat-out LIED to??

After talking to another foster-adoptive parenting and doing some online research, their rejection and dishonest bull-jive makes a bit more sense. It's all a bunch of garbage politics, and it's outraging.

Maybe I'll have the energy to blog it all another day, but right now I don't. I'm just too drained.

But yeah, if ever you feel like pointing fingers at people who spend oodles of cash going overseas to adopt, rather than "helping the kids here at home", you now know who to blame. The freakin' Washington social workers themselves, who apparently view hopeful adoptive parents as desperate baby-snatchers.

A Note On Family

Last weekend I flew down to Arizona to visit Donald for a few days before he deploys. I flew in to Tucson at around 6pm-ish, at which point we immediately hopped in the car and made the long drive up to Gilbert. What's in Gilbert, you ask? Well, my Dad, Brother, and insanely cool Step-mother reside there.
Woah, woah... what? Katrina has a Dad??? I mean, basic human biology obviously requires some sort of paternal parentage, but most people never knew the guy existed (due to no fault of his own. The poor guy didn't find out about me until just before my 14th birthday).
Well, I do. His name is Sean, and he looks like me.

I first met him when I was 14, and he seemed like a cool enough guy. If nothing else, he was a fantastic sport about my existence. I mena, not many people would just... well, accept the fact that they suddenly have a teenage daughter.

His dad, my Grandpa-Jerry, was a very special person to me. We emailed almost daily after he found out about me, and I'm sure he'd still be a huge part in my life if he hadn't passed away a few short months after we met.

The shock and chaos of his sudden death essentially dissolved the ties I had with his side of the family.

10 years went by. We exchanged Birthday and Christmas cards for a few years, sent pictures here and there, but nothing too significant. Both of our lives were already on different paths, and I don't think either side ever expected anything beyond what we each were giving.

And then we met up last Thursday night.
We hung out, ate good food, played pool, reminisced about what could have been, and had a much better time than I imagined we would. Honestly, I hadn't expected anything more than an awkward and quiet dinner. It definitely turned out a lot better than planned.













I guess we know now where I get those small, deep-set eyes from!


He showed me some pictures of his side of the family, which was a first for me. Having not taking after my mom's side of the family for... well, much of ANYTHING, it was humbling to look into the photographed eyes of people who LOOKED LIKE ME.

I don't look dramatically different from the family I was raised with. I mean, we're all white. We blend. But still. Thanks to my Grandma, everyone on my mom's side was blessed with dainty and feminine features, paired with huge blue eyes.
I have neither. I do, however, have just about everything my dad's side is known for.

If nothing else, this experience gave me a small sliver of understanding and a tiny glimpse into the lives of my future children.
For the longest time I've tried to tell myself that when Donald and I start our family through adoption, nothing from their past would be of significance. I'll be their mother - their entire world - and genetics wouldn't count for a thing. They'd be raised in such love that their biological parents wouldn't matter at all, and it would be as if I had carried them for 9 months myself. I'd be their ONLY mother, they'd never ask questions, and I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SHARE THEM.
Right?
Sorta.
Yes to all the parts about love, being their real mom, and all that other mushy stuff.
Not so much on the part about not having to share

I don't even have my kids yet, but I'm already so attached to the idea of them being completely mine. It's a reasonable expectation, and how God intends things to be, in the ideal setting. But lucky for me, and for my future children, our situations aren't ideal in the traditional sense. Sometimes life's unexpected bumps require that our standards change a bit. And so they are.

Though I know that my kids WILL be mine (at some point, eventually, when the time is right), I'll have to always remember that a small part of their hearts will always be with their first parents, and that's okay. I wasn't raised by my dad. He's a fantastic guy and I love him, but he's not my "daddy". There's something to be said for biology. It's a powerful thing. I knew nothing about my father's side of the family until middle school, yet a day will never go by that I don't think about them, and I wish that I could have known them better.
After looking into the eyes of those pictures last week, I think I'll have a better idea of where my kids are coming from when they start showing interest in their biological family.

Iraq, Aruba, and a Quote From a Democrat

Who would have thought that a democrat would be the author of my new favorite quote?

"Do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be stronger men." -John F. Kennedy





Donald's deploying to Iraq again. He was supposed to be coming home at the end of this month, but instead he's shipping out. It's not entirely bad news, though. It's a MUCH shorter deployment than last time, and he'll be back this summer... at which point we'll be going to Aruba, or somewhere else that's equally tropical and fantastic.

Impressed With Myself

I'm very impressed with myself. I did some math today. Since Donald and I were married, we have been apart for 25.75 months due to deployments and training. We've been together for only 20.25. Alas, yet another reason to be impressed with myself (the first reason was for the math I willingly did!). The alternative to immense pride is to be a miserable wreck, which I've been fighting against a lot lately!

I honestly don't know how missionary wives in the 18- and 1900's did it. Kissing their husbands goodbye for years at a time without phones, USPS, and the INTERNET?
Can I get an "amen" for the INTERNET?!? I could NOT be an Army wife without it. I'm forever indebted to Al Gore for the sanity it has provided me.

Oh Yeah

I should probably update this thing more often.

So, the house is officially ours. I was handed the keys over a month ago, and have since been working hard to make it feel like home.

These are the last pre-completion pictures from late October - Mid-November.

Cabinets in the garage:


Interior in early November, still looking rough:


(no cabinets in the kitchen!)

Aaaand the finished product, right after completion (camera phone pictures, sorry):

(entry)

(kitchen)

(powder room)

(laundry)




I have since painted the dining room an olive green color and the kitchen PURPLE. I'll post pictures of it... eventually.

Okay, Sorry

I try SO hard not to get political on here. Once I start ranting, it's hard for me to stop, so I usually keep my mouth shut altogether.

But sorry, this is driving me insane.

"Maj." Nidal Malik Hasan is a terrorist.

He did not snap due to stress. He was a psychiatrist, I'm confident he had great coping skills. I can't pretend I fully understand his motivations; I don't. I'm not in the business of mind-reading, but there comes a point when we need to call a spade a spade. His history of misconduct is long, and he was outspoken in his beliefs that Islam came before the constitution, the war on terror was a war on Muslims, and that his "fellow Muslims" in Iraq and Afghanistan had every right to rise up against their American aggressors. Further investigation by the FBI has uncovered all sorts of ugly stuff, more and more of which is being revealed every day.
He gave away most of his possession before the attack; he knew he was going to die. Eye witnesses to the attacks heard him "praising Allah" in Arabic as he fired on some of our country's bravest. He sent terror through the Fort Hood community, and to our country as a whole.

He walks like a duck, he talks like a duck, and his history of conduct is equally duck-ish.

Joyous SNL

This last Saturday, SNL was hosted by Taylor Swift, and her opening monologue was the best I've ever seen. I downloaded it, and have had the "Monologue Song - 'La La La'" stuck in my head for the last five days. Normally song viruses are bad things, but I don't mind this one.

New Favorite Scripture

Psalms 126:5

"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy."

Doesn't that just make you feel better?

Bedtime With Captain Picard

I'd like to express my profound gratitude to the crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Thank you, TNG. You've become my nightly routine. Though you don't have any Vulcans in your lineup, I've come to love you. I never considered myself a Trekie, but I can't imagine another night without you.

Also, I can't forget my friends kmyq (channel 10). Filling your 11pm weekday slot with TNG is the best thing you've ever done for me.

The Enterprise has solved yet another intergalactic mystery, and now it's time for bed.

The House is Ahead of Schedule!

Donald's been patiently awaiting these pictures. Here ya go, babe!


I went by our house on September 1st, before the foundation was poured. Here's a few shots:

The "front" (it's a corner lot) facing where the front of the house will be:

From the back/side yard:

Then, yesterday I went down to take more pictures. The framing was scheduled to start on the 24th (today) so I was excited to photograph the freshly dried foundation. Instead, I showed up and found that 1/3 of the framing was already complete! Can I just say how excited I am that things are AHEAD of schedule!?!?

The front:

The side:

Only six more weeks!