My Two Little History Books

This not-so- little book has been keeping me very busy these days:

Last quarter I decided to become a history major. Yup. Officially. I even earned a scholarship (oh yeah, did I mention that? SUPER EXCITING) in which I talked about my love for the subject. Though I'm only in my 2nd year of college and it's not technically a "major" yet, my decision has been made.

My days have been full of reading and studying, and not just the sort of weak studying I do in other classes just to get a good grade. I'm talking REAL STUDYING. I'm soaking it in, and loving it. I'm even doing supplemental reading to enhance my retention.

Enter, my 2nd not-so-little book:

To be fair, I bought the audio book format from iTunes, and have been listening to it in the car or while doing chores. Still, a book is a book, and at 40+ hours of audio it is a BIG FRIGGIN BOOK, and I highly recommend it to anyone wanting to learn more about our country's amazing history, without all the liberal anti-American propaganda that most history classes and books are drenched with. The authors give complete and accurate information, and manage to include all of the ugly stuff without resorting to demonizing the great figures who shaped our nation.

I love America

I Spoke Too Soon

Okay so... remember how excited I was to let everyone know that Donald was HOME?

Well, he was home.

He's actually been back in Arizona for over a week now.

He's still without orders.

For those not in the military, none of this probably makes sense. For those of you who are, well... it's probably EQUALLY nonsensical. We are in a completely bizarre and unheard of situation. He's just sitting in the barracks, not belonging to anyone. His orders, a few months ago (while he was deployed out of Arizona) were magically deleted.

Apparently the people in charge of making sure he GETS orders were/are completely incompetent. His branch manager (guy in charge of giving him orders) was preparing to retire from the Army... so he had apparently checked out LONG before Donald's situation was taken care of. For several weeks Sergeant Checked-out (as I like to call him) continually assured Donald that everything was being sorted out and that any day his orders would show up in the system.

...turns out not.

He's been back from his deployment for over 6 weeks now. He should have immediately (like, within a few days) come to Fort Lewis. Instead, after sitting in AZ for a couple weeks, he (wisely) decided to take leave (vacation) to come visit me.

So glad he did, too... because there's still no end in sight! NO ORDERS!

Aaaaaand I'm going bonkers.

12 and 15 month deployments? 6 month TDYs? 1 month training exercises? No problem! I understand it all! THIS NONSENSE, THOUGH?

...I need another ice cream sandwich.

An Inexplicable Love

Today I just want our Little Winn to be home.

I know, I know... I'm trying hard not to sound sappy and ridiculous. I haven't even met the kid. I don't even know if it's a he or she, or whether (s)he is already in preschool, or was just born. To emotionally complicate things further, we won't know until we arrive in Eastern Europe... which is nearly a year away.

When I'm not busy working or doing homework, I think of our Little Winn. Is (s)he in a state-run orphanage, or "fortunate" enough to be in a privately operated Christian facility? Is (s)he being held enough... or at all? Are kind words being spoken to him/her? Has (s)he had enough to eat? If (s)he's old enough to understand the situation, does (s)he have hope that we'll be there soon? However insufficiently, is (s)he being shown love by someone? Anyone?

The concept of loving a soon-to-be-adopted child has always made sense to me. Having known others who've adopted internationally, I've seen that engulfing love that overcomes them when they look at their baby's picture.

We, however, do not have a picture. All we have is an answered prayer. I definitely underestimated the frustration, longing, and love that would immediately result after receiving an answer to those prayers. The moment I felt our Heavenly Father had given His blessing on a Ukrainian adoption, a formerly unknown Slavic child suddenly became our child.

...and it's crazy how such a thing can change a person as much as it has.

So how can I explain the love I have for Little Winn before I know a single thing about him/her? To even consider elaborating makes me feel like an emotional nutcase.

...and so I won't.

I love our Little Winn already, I can't explain it, and I'm certainly not gunna fight it.

My cousin Laurel recommended a song by Matthew West to me, called "Safe and Sound". I downloaded it on iTunes and have it playing constantly, in hopes that I'll be come desensitized to it and won't cry every time it comes on.

I can't wait for Little Winn to be home safe and sound.

Can't believe you're here now

tiny dream come true.

The answer to a prayer now,

I'm so in love with you

couldn't wait to meet you.

hope you like your name

I get the funny feeling

life will never be the same

Safe an sound,

you're here with me now,

like I hold you near.

Safe and sound.

You're here with me now.

That's all I'll ever need

The world's a scary place here

but baby it's alright

I'll make sure the coast is clear

so you can just sleep tight.

But if you're afraid of monsters

like every body is,

I'll be right beside you,

closer than a kiss.

Safe and sound

I'm here with you now

and you will always be,

safe and sound

I'm here with you now

and that's all you'll ever need.

And some day I'm gunna teach you

the reason why we pray,

so that Heaven's love may reach you

every single day.

So baby close your eyes now

and say a prayer with me:

'Lord I lay me down to sleep now

but I know I will be

safe and sound'

you're here with us now

and we will always be,

safe and sound.

You're here with us now,

and that's all we'll ever need.

You're all we'll ever need.