Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Adoption Has Ended

We received an email this afternoon from our facilitators, with very bad news.

Our adoption from Eastern Europe is officially over.

The new laws go into effect in a few weeks, and we would need to have our dossier submitted no later than June 23rd to even have a slim chance of beating the deadline. Donald won't be in town until the 18th, so he'd get finger-printed for immigration no sooner than the 21st. There is zero possibility that we'll make the deadline (and even then, it's a long-shot that we'd get a travel date before the shut-down in mid-July).

The entire country's adoption program will shut down completely in July. When it re-opens (no dates given, but likely a couple months) their requirements will be revamped, likely changing the dossier documents required. At that point, children under 5 will no longer be adoptable to foreigners unless they have very specific and limited special needs.

We saw it coming, but it's still incredibly devastating. We were so close.


  1. I'm so frustrated for you.

    It's moments like this that I really have trouble seeing the bigger picture that God sees.

    I don't doubt that He's there and I don't doubt that He has a plan. Sometimes though, I just can't see even a glimmer of it no matter how hard I try.

    I'll keep your family in my prayers.

  2. I am so sorry Katrina. All I can do is keep praying for the little ones left behind and the families that have fought to get them. I think of you so often and I am still very torn over the last situation. I will pray for the delay to be brief in UA and that God's Will is revealed to you very soon.

  3. Even in the darkest hours, Heavenly Father gives us light. You have a light within your being that is so beautiful and so loving and giving that not even the saddest moment in your life can extinguish it. You will have children, you have already been able to fall in love with some very adorable children, and they have been impacted by you and your love, even if they did not come home to you. You have so many people praying for you and your children. Just remember that Heavenly Father does not give us challenges, unless he provides us a way to make it through them, stronger and more blessed than before. Love you! Let your light shine. :)

  4. I'm so sorry, Katrina. This sucks for everyone, you know how badly I wanted to see those girlies come home. But don't stop. Something may change.

  5. I'm so sorry Katrina! That is horrible news! Maybe you can try another country? I'm not sure how it all works but I just hope you can be a mom and SOON!

  6. Crying with you :( It's days like these that I wish we could see ahead what the plan is because no matter how many people tell you or how much you know in your heart that it will work out the way it is suppose to, today hurts and it hurts bad. And not knowing what the future holds today seems unfair. So I am frantically waving my magic wand over here to make it better even though I know that it won't help. (HUGS) to you.

  7. I am so so sorry. This is the part not many people talk about and it's easily the very worst.

  8. I'm so very, very sorry for you. I hope and pray that you'll be led to know how to bring some adorable children to your home, since I know you'll be a great mom.

  9. I am so incredibly sorry. This is devastating. There are no words.

    One day you will be united with your children (whoever, whereever they are). But the wait is so so so hard.

    My thoughts are with you.


  10. I was reading Alma 26 tonight and this verse really touched me:

    27 Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: ... bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

    It helped me as I was depressed about the thought of not being able to adopt (though for different reasons), and I thought maybe it would help you, too. I do hope and pray that Heavenly Father is comforting your heart as you go through this.

  11. I thought that there was still a possibility that more special needs could get added as time goes by? Is that not correct?

  12. It is possible that more needs could be added to the list. I don't personally believe HIV will be though. It's possible, but I'm not holding my breath.

    In the unlikely event that October-ish rolls around and adoptions resume with HIV approved, we'd then have to re-do everything (as most of our documents will be expired, and it's believed that they'll be changing the requirements anyway). We could submit and hope to travel around Christmas, if it all works out.

    However, that's a long shot. It's not something I'm planning for. I have no more desire to put baseless hope into something that is unlikely to work out.
    Those who live on hope will die fasting.

    I fully support others who have a desire to "not give up hope", but I'm not among them. Our circumstances don't allow for it. Our time and resources are limited.

    Donald deploys in approximately 12 months to Afghanistan again, so our time to figure things out is dwindling.

    We want to complete an adoption, but we simply can't put all our eggs in one basket any more.

    We're exploring our other options.

  13. I certainly understand the position you are in. I will be praying that God will direct your steps, and that very soon, you will be a Mother <3

  14. Katrina,

    I am so sorry. We lost our first referral as well and it is heartbreaking and it is loss.

    I'm not sure if you are interested in domestic adoption or not but Tracie Loux (who adopted a child with Down Syndrome from Ukraine) helps with domestic adoptions in adoptive friendly states only. So you could be adopting from a different state than you live in. Most often you can be paired within a year. There are some special needs available too. I like the way her program works because it is not a "typical" domestic adoption. Anyway, I have links to her blog (The Spirit of Adoption) and website on our blog if you are interested.

    Again, I am so so sorry this is happening to you and your husband.


  15. I am just reading this...we are adopting from the same orphanage as the girls. It is so very difficult to understand :( We see them everyday and my heart is breaking...

  16. I'm very sorry for you guys. We just had to stop ours too, though for different reasons. It's devastating, and people IRL don't understand why we were so attached to a child we haven't even met.

  17. I'm so sorry for you and your husband and for those precious little girls! It does seem so completely wrong! And, I agree with you, as much as you know that it will all work out eventually in God's timing and His the meantime, it is painful and really hurts. Let the people close to you cry with you and give you extra hugs and support. I will definitely include you in my prayers tonight!


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