Unconditional Love & HIV

1 John 4:18

"Perfect love drives out fear."

Our beautiful boys are both HIV+.
While only an estimated 20%-30% of un-medicated HIV+ mothers still manage to pass on the virus to to their children (the specific statistic depends on your source), our children fell into that unlucky minority.

The decision to publicly disclose their status has been a difficult one, and while a great number of parents choose to keep an HIV status private (with very good reason), we ultimately decided that full disclosure was in the best interest of our family.

HIV carries a huge stigma. It's a stigma that we want our kids to be sheltered from as much as possible, so while we don't plan on carrying a huge "HIV" sign above their heads and announcing it everywhere we go, we also won't be treating it as a closely guarded secret for fear that they'd feel ashamed.

Also, to be frank... we have a lot of well-meaning friends with loose lips. The "HIV secret" would have gotten out anyway, so we'd rather it be on our terms. :-)

There are many misconceptions about the virus, and we hope that you'll take a few moments to help us dispel them.

We are adding an "HIV tab" to the top of our blog, so please take a moment to check it out and learn more about how the virus can be spread, and (more importantly) how it CANNOT.

The three ways it is spread are through:
1. Unprotected sexual contact
2. Sharing contaminated needles
3. Mother-to-infant, through birth (in a small percentage of births, and only if the mother is not medicated) and breastfeeding

...so unless you plan on participating in one of the above activities with them, you're at no risk. :-)

So far, our friends and family have been overwhelmingly supportive. However, disclosing has still been, at times, a very scary experience for me.

While recently disclosing to one of my friends (who has a few children of her own, similar in age to ours), she summed up her feelings by admitting that she didn't know much about the virus, but that she knew I would never put her children at risk, so she was supportive.

I can only hope that everyone feels the same. These children are farrrrrr too precious and in need of acceptance and love to ever be feared or rejected.

If these HIV+ children have regular access to Anti Retro Virals (ARVs) they are expected to have a long, healthy life... of AVERAGE length.
They can lead normal lives, and even have children of their own one day, born free from the virus!

There has not been a single case of HIV being transmitted in a normal family OR school environment. Though both positive for the virus, their immune systems are as strong as any other children. Aside from taking ARVs daily and visiting a specialist a few times a year for monitoring, they will need to be treated no differently than any other children.

The following video was put together by Project Hopeful, which is an organization that helps to educate, inform, and support families hoping to adopt children with HIV. It's a short and VERY cute and entertaining video, so please take a minute to watch it!








A fellow blogger I follow recently posted a very informational entry about HIV. I encourage you to check it out, if you have time.


Also, please browse around www.projecthopeful.org if you have a few moments. It's full of hope, inspiration, and GREAT information.

"Don't spend time worrying about weird and obscure ways of transmitting the virus. The simple fact is that if no one shared needles and everyone wore condoms, the HIV epidemic would disappear."
- Dr. Joel Gallant, Professor of Medicine at John Hopkins School of Medicine and Infectious Disease Specialist

Happy LOVE Day!